MY TIME IN JIAOZUO
by Jenny Bray
I am not sure just were to start this newsletter. Knowing that I have a very short time left in Jiaozuo is bringing very mixed feelings. For about five years I had been coming yearly to just love on the kids with David and China Heart International (CHI) and had fallen madly in love with Chun li, a little girl who I found sleeping on cold concrete in what was called the court yard for mentally challenged kids. It would break my heart to leave her. My Father gave me a vision of her running to me with her arms outstretched in heaven. However, I had underestimated his answer to my prayers. I have seen her running to me with her arms outstreched in real life while living here in China. He is good.
I had been looking after my father with dementia for 3 years when I found out COAT needed house parents. I applied to do 9 weeks but when my dad passed away I was accepted to do six months and began in August 2007. Bev had been here before me, but she was only on loan from CHI. She had to start studying Chinese in Xian, so I was basically thrown in at the deep end. What an experience! Thankfully Bev had left me notes and with the help of Louhuan as my interpreter I settled in.
There were 25 children ranging from babies to 15yrs, five of the older ones went to boarding school during the week and came home on weekends. Jie Lun, our deaf teenage boy went to a special school for 10 days then 5 at home. The other older children went to COAT's school in the Orphanage. The day started around 6am with breakfast at 7am and school at 8am. Then 11.30 home for lunch and siesta, back to school at 2pm and home time at 5pm. We had eight children in Pre School which was held in the boys dormitory where COAT employed a teacher. The kids had fun.
Getting used to the culture was not easy.. the food, transport, toilets but eventually it became routine. Because it was very rare to see another foreigner, I would continually become an object of inquisitiveness. It seemed to be a real honor for me just to say hello to them and people always looked on while I shopped.
There were no other foreigners in sight, so when David brought a team in the October it was great to see them and spend time with them. After one visit, we grew by five children all because people on David's team could not bear the thought of leaving certain vulnerable children in the orphanage. These people, like all the other sponsors, have such big hearts to ensure as many children as possible get to live in a family like ours. The sponsors make it possible for us to bring in more and more children. You would think the need would lessen, but in actual fact, we are finding more children need places in our homes.
I had to make a trip home in November for my daughter's wedding. As I was leaving Eagles' Wings Three, something happened that totally changed my mind on the length of my stay. Hui Hui is a little girl of 7yrs grabbed my leg and screamed out come back and wouldn't let me go. I just cried promising I would be back knowing full well my heart would stay forever.
This is a bit of what Linda wrote on Hui Hui just recently..
Hui Hui is tenish. She has Asperger's Syndrome which they diagnosed as autism.. But she is on the spectrum towards the autistic end. She was locked up as uncontrollable in the first floor courtyard. I thought to give Hui Hui a chance with the first foster home, but she was totally uncontrollable and threw things and wrecked things and screamed and kicked and carried on like a pork chop. After I left, the then foster parents conceded defeat and, screaming and kicking, they took her back to be locked up. The next foster parent, Bev, decided to give Hui Hui another chance. It was difficult, but she stuck it out.
Then came Jenny. Jenny put strict boundaries around Hui Hui and there followed a modification of the COAT behavior management policy. instead of a naughty mat or chair, Jenny used Hui Hui's bed. When a melt down was pending or even in full swing, Hui Hui was taken to her bed and told to stay there until she calmed down. Hui Hui persisted and tried to get off the bed. Jenny would just put her back on the bed. This was extremely tough in the beginning. But when Hui Hui would calm down, Jenny would just plain love on her and she was released from the bed. After awhile, Jenny only had to frown and point and say: bed!
Hui Hui would head to the bed and stay there until she was calm. She knew that she was loved. What you have now is a loving little girl who is not too difficult to manage. She is very intelligent! She started at the village school and is loving learning, if you didn't know she was autistic, you wouldn't know. She skips off happily to school each morning with Jing Qiu and Xia Li who are also loving the village school.
I arrived back from Australia to find three of the older girls with Hepatitis A. It was going to cost heaps to put them in hospital, so my room became an isolation ward for ten weeks. This was over Christmas as well but Santa still came and they were able to join from a distance. I was very glad to get my own room back.
During this time back Eagles' Wing One (a unit in the community outside of the orphanage) began and some of the kids were shuffled around but every thing was good.
A young girl from the Uni had been working on weekends as my interpreter but as her major exams loomed she had to stop, and one of the ayies (nannies) asked if her daughter who majored in English could come and practise this with me. It was simply the best decision for COAT Inc to employ her full time. Zhang Ying has been by my side since then.
With Eagles' Wings One opened, Joy and Noel from Queensland came to EW1 for 6 months so Noel could work on EW2 and Joy working as their Nai Nai (grandmother).
Because there was so much running around to do, the orphanage lent us a van (that COAT had donated) until we could purchase our own. Buying the car took about a week but with our very proud driver it was great, the roads are crazy here. I would hate to have to drive.
Linda bought me a three wheeler electric bike because the walk to the road to get a taxi was so long and often the driver was busy with other things, and I needed a link to EW 1. This was the best fun and the kids just love to go for a ride. It is so funny to see the reaction of the locals when they see a foreigner riding in the bike lane beside them with 4 or 5 kids in the tray behind.
Every sixty days I would have to go to cross the border just to get my passport stamped. I was on one of these trips when the big earth quake hit in a neighbouring province of course my family was in panic but I didn't even feel it.
The children are all ages and varied disabilities and some are blessed to go to their forever after families. The first boys Hao Ran and Zi jin, were off to Sweden. It was so lovely to meet the parents and we remain in contact now.
When five children were adopted at once, it was too many for the orphanage staff to take. So Zhang Ying and I were asked to go to Zheng Zhou to help. I was only to happy to oblige. One little boy sicked up on the way and when we got there we were led to a small office where another group of happy mums and dads collected their children. We had told our children what was to happen, but they didn't really understand and nothing could have prepared us for the next step. There was another group of parents getting other Henan kids already in the office, but our parents arrived before the others left.
So we were handing them over in the hall way, with the kids screaming: Nai Nai! as they didn't want me to leave them. I had to run and hide. It was totally disorganized and my heart broke for both the kids and parents. Thankfully after two days, I saw them again and today some keep in contact and they are so happy that I am glad of the experience.
My visits home to see my family were a refreshing time as I missed them so much, especially with two more on the way. I had intended to have Christmas 2008 in Australia but because it was my daughters first baby was due in Feb, I had my second Christmas in Jiaozuo so I could be home later to be with my daughter in February for her.
Linda was here for Christmas and so were Donna and her three children. Donna was a house parent in EW2 for six months. It was great to have all the help especially on the day as I played Santa. Linda wasn't much help, she left us to wrap presents while she went and found a tiny blind child to bring home to add to our growing family. Every one had a great time and each house had their own party for lunch donated by Gillie in Queensland.
I have spent a lot of time with the Director of the orphanage and the orphanage doctors trying to get antiquated ideas and practices upgraded. Things like: if a child has a high temperature they wanted them to sweat it out. The orphanage staff were very surprised when they saw how quickly it came down after a cool shower and Panadol.
The swine flu hit after this so no foreigners were allowed to come to the orphanage so when everyone else went home it was a little hard. My health was not too good so I returned home in August 09 and I didn't return until early December.
I was so glad I have been able to come back this last time as house grandmother. Everyone was so good to me and looked after me. The weeks of shopping, organizing, wrapping made the time go so quickly. I didn't play Santa this year and asked our shu shu (uncle, driver) to play the part, the kids loved him and had a wonderful day.
My next job was to get ready for my replacement Chew Gim, who is a friend of mine. It was good to see her.
There are many other things I would love to tell but this would become a book and too long but I want to give all thanks to our father for never leaving my side and for the lessons in life he has taught me.
As I get to this part my eyes start to water as I know I have to say goodbye and that it will be a very emotional time. I wouldn't trade my time here for anything, our father commanded us to look after the orphans and in doing that he has blessed me. I now have a very big Chinese family and they will live in my heart always.
Finally I would like to say thank you to all those who have supported me through prayer, love and support (of all kinds).. you are precious and I love you.
A small part of my Chinese family
Jenny Nai Nai
